The Messy Path to Success

I came across this photo on Facebook about six months ago and it made me laugh, but I also found it very comforting. From my experience, this couldn't be more accurate. When we first go off to whichever post-secondary institution we find ourselves in, we seem to have a pretty clear idea of how things will pan out. We get to school, we’re excited, we’re going to attend every class, do all of our readings in advance, have great relationships with our professors (which will later serve as great networking contacts), manage our money responsibly, and walk across that stage on graduation day with a smile and a clear plan for what lies ahead. I would estimate that for 90% of us, this isn’t the case. Shortly after graduation, that first dose of reality sets in. For many of us, mommy and daddy stop paying rent, others are riddled with student debt, and many of us go through a series of unsuccessful interviews in our respective fields.

What ever do you mean you don’t need a criminologist in your office? I swear, I attended at least 60% of my classes. I am familiar with some pretty interesting theories that were relevant 100 years ago... Oh wait. Actually no, I’ve forgotten them. Electives, you ask? That’s right. I am well versed in “Men, Women & Society”, where I learned that you  shouldn’t give boys trucks and girls Barbies, because we’re pre-conditioning them to become “masculine” and “feminine”, and really, who wants that? I don’t mean to brag, but it doesn’t stop there. I also took Canadian Leisure. Did you know that both men and women over 70 tend to find walking an enjoyable leisurely activity? Well now you do. Others enjoy water sports and travelling. Riveting stuff.   

Believe it or not, employers in the Criminal Justice field weren’t as impressed as I was with my education. After serving at a bar and restaurant for a year, I knew it was time to pursue post-graduate education, which for me changed everything.

Many of my friends and colleagues have now been working for a few years, some in their fields, some still trying to get there. However, some of those who have been lucky enough to find work in their fields are going through a bit of a rut. They feel that they’re capable of more. You know why? Because they are. Very few of us are living out our career dreams and maximizing our potentials within the first few years of graduation. With greater experience comes greater responsibility (and hopefully, a greater salary). We all have to do the “bitch work”, for lack of a better term (perhaps I should have thrown an English class into my undergrad mix), before we are thriving in the challenging, rewarding careers we set out to have. Also, we have to acknowledge what the real path to success looks like (pictured above). Many of us will have career changes, and we need to understand that it’s okay, that our prior experience is always valuable, and that this is the time to do it. When people in their twenties say that it’s too late to start over and change careers, people in their forties and fifties laugh at the absurdity of it.

I know quite a few people who have been working for a few years and are considering a career change, but are hesitant to “take a step back”. Although their lifestyle will change slightly, and their pay will likely change, I always encourage them to go for it. Your 40-year-old self will thank you. There is a reason that on average, our prime earning years are in our forties. It’s because in our twenties and thirties, most of us are figuring it out, changing our minds and trying to get it back together (rinse, repeat). This is the time in our lives where, for the most part, our only responsibility is to ourselves. The decisions we make now will shape the rest of our lives. We sometimes forget that we live in such an amazing time that our options are endless. With so much choice, we have a hard time narrowing down what we are “meant” to do. This is the time in our lives to change our minds, take that big risk, start over, and understand that the path to success is rocky. Because even if we fall flat on our faces, at least we’re moving forward.  

thetwentysomething.

In our twenties (and often thirties), we find ourselves somewhere on a spectrum. I don’t know if there’s a name for it, but we’re all well aware of it. We likely have friends on either end of the spectrum, but most of us fall somewhere in the middle. For the sake of brevity, let’s call it the Drop Shots – Babies Spectrum. We all have that friend who rocks the club scene five nights a week, with no intention of changing that pattern in the near future. We also have that married friend who uses foreign terms like “mortgage payment” and “maternity leave”.

While we move from one end of the spectrum to the other, there are a variety of things that can happen, maybe some post-graduate education, perhaps some travel, figuring out your career, make-ups, break-ups, maybe finding someone to spend your life with, or even finding yourself (whatever that means).

Some of us are in this in-between phase for most of our twenties and thirties, while others take the Snooki-path and go from one end of the spectrum to the other in a matter of a few (9?) months. While we all take different paths, and rarely end up in identical places, we tend to experience a lot of the same things in the process.  Wherever you find yourself on the spectrum, I hope I’ll hit on something you can relate to.

(Please don’t discount my credibility for the Jersey Shore reference).